How can we change limiting beliefs that affect our confidence?

Confidence is a vital aspect of our lives. It influences how we approach challenges, interact with others, and pursue our goals. However, one factor that plays a significant role in shaping our confidence levels are limiting beliefs. When clients come for coaching and EFT and tell me they lack confidence, limiting beliefs are one of the areas we explore.

What is a limiting belief?

A limiting belief is a negative thought or perception about ourselves or the world. It has been repeated so many times that it becomes a habit. Over time, it becomes entrenched as a belief system.  

Our brain automatically believes these negative thoughts to be true, so they go unnoticed or unchallenged. We then filter, distort and delete all the information we receive to fit this belief system. This, in turn, fuels disempowering thought cycles and emotions such as shame, disappointment and sorrow. 

Common examples of limiting beliefs include:

I’m not good enough

I’m not worthy

There’s something wrong with me

I’m not loveable

I can’t do this

I’m not safe

How do limiting beliefs affect our behaviour?

Our feelings and thoughts lead to our actions. So if our thoughts are negative, we either don’t take action that will move us forward, or procrastinate and avoid doing what we need to do, often through fear. 

Where do they come from?

Our belief system is shaped initially by our childhood, through our family dynamics and school. Our society, our culture, our life experiences and traumatic events also impact our beliefs.  This big melting pot of influences sinks into our sub-conscious and forms the lens through which we see the world.

How do we work with these beliefs in coaching? 

When they’re deeply ingrained in our core, they can be incredibly stubborn to release.  Our ego will do everything it can to prevent us from letting them go, so awareness is a first step but it’s not enough in itself. 

Limiting beliefs can seem never ending as once we release one layer, another comes up – which was always there but hidden from view.

Coaching provides a safe, non-judgemental space in which we can explore these belief systems, held in our sub-conscious. 

We unpick the origins of the original thought, challenge its validity, along with the evidence and look at how new ways of thinking will help us to move forward.

What do you really want?

By connecting with what we really want to have happen, we can look at the gap between where we are now and where we want to be, working towards action that supports our desire.

Accept where you’re at

Accepting where we are is the starting point for releasing old patterns.  Connecting with the wise, compassionate and creative part of our brains, we can bring clarity to our thoughts and shift our perspective.

Then we work with the body to find out where these feelings are felt. We get clear about what thoughts and actions follow. We can then reframe the picture with better information and choose a new path.

Connect with our sub-conscious - home to our limiting beliefs

There are many ways in which we can connect with our sub-conscious, the home of limiting beliefs – from EFT to meditation, breathwork, being in nature and yoga to name a few others.

Set goals 

We then set goals, broken down into achievable, bite sized chunks which provide evidence we are making progress. This is the start of a more positive thought loop.

Practice

To affect change, we need to be committed to daily practice. Just as we need to do physical exercise daily to see progress in our fitness, the same is true for our thoughts.

During coaching sessions, we devise action plans to help work to dislodge these beliefs and review how they are working each session.

Limiting beliefs are challenging and can be stubborn. But with time and practice, we can alter the lens with which we see ourselves and the world. A brighter future then follows.